Asexual people do not generally feel a sexual attraction about anyone. It is possible to experience a romantic connection with someone without wanting to have physical intercourse with them. There is an entire spectrum that ranges from a lack of interest in sex to feeling entirely adverse about the idea of intimacy.
Ace dating doesn’t require an exact match of feelings to create a thriving relationship. Even people who have an intense sexual attraction to each other are not intimate every day. When you meet someone who identifies as being asexual, then dating might not be easy – but it is possible.
How to Find Success with Asexual Dating
Acceptance of this approach is always the first step toward a successful asexual dating relationship. It can be challenging to know that the person you love doesn’t feel a sexual attraction to you, but do not invalidate how the other person feels.
People on the asexual spectrum are not broken. Denial won’t change anything.
Once you can reach the stage of acceptance, you’ll be ready to find success with asexual dating with the following advice.
1. Don’t take the approach to intimacy personally.
Asexual people don’t want you to change either if you don’t feel the same way. It is important to remember that disinterest in intimacy is not about your appearance, personality, or performance. It is because your ace partner wants to be with you in other ways.
There is a lot of value placed on being “sexy” in today’s culture, so dating an asexual can lead to feelings of insecurity in some. Take a deep breath and remember your partner is there because they’re interested in you as a person.
2. Avoid blaming your ace partner or pressuring them into intimacy.
Pressuring a partner into having sex is the foundation of an unhealthy relationship. Asexual people face this situation often because society often tells them that their feelings are unnatural. Open communication is always a better solution. Thinking that your ace partner is “broken” or “withholding sex” for some reason can lead to coercion and the crossing of boundaries that you may regret one day.
3. Set boundaries that work for both of you.
People who date asexual people often internalize their frustrations about what they perceive as being a lack of intimacy. This emotion eventually leads to anger and resentment if there are not healthy boundaries set at the beginning of the relationship. Check-in with each other at least once per month to talk about what works and what could use some change. Remember that there is a difference between sexual needs and intimate entitlement. No one is “owed” sex for any reason.
4. Expand your idea of a healthy relationship.
Your relationship with someone doesn’t need to conform to any societal standard. It’s your partnership, so it is up to you to set the rules that you follow together. There are multiple ways for people to connect that go beyond sex. Some ace partners want to have intimate contact with their significant others. Every ace dating relationship will be different.
Dating an asexual person is not always easy, but it can also be a highly rewarding experience. If you’re looking to explore what ace dating is like, then AsexualCupid.com can help you to connect with others who feel the same way. When you can set boundaries about a potential relationship right away, then you have a better chance to find happiness with someone on multiple levels.